Women are like...

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the
ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something
is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have towait
for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all
the way to the top of the tree.
>
>Share this with women who are good apples, even those who have already been
>picked!
>
>Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to
>women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something
>acceptable to have dinner with.

1000 Dollars and 3 Eggs

A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a
dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After
10 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She
peeks inside and sees 3 eggs and $1,000.

She confronts her husband and asks for an explanation. He explains "Every
time I was unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the drawer." She figures 3
times in 10 years isn't bad and asks "But what about the $1,000?" He replied
"Whenever I got a dozen eggs, I sold them."

Role Descriptions of people in a IT Project

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks Nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks a single woman cannot deliver a baby in nine months.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is one who knows that it takes a man, a woman & nine months to deliver a baby, But expects otherwise.

5) Marketing manager is a person who thinks I can deliver a child whether a man and woman is available or not.

6) Resource optimisation team thinks I don't want man or woman, I'll still produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation team will think I don't care how a child is delivered, I'll just document 9 months.

8) QA Auditor is the only person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce baby.